Monica Wood - Disappearing (Overview - Part 4)

This is the fourth part of the overview to Monica Wood's short story "Disappearing" which covers the story's themes: body image, assistance, silence, and acknowledgment.

If you want to read an introduction which includes a link to the story, a short biography of the author, the setting of the story as well as the characters that interact in it, click here. 

Part two deals with the plot and the "growth" process through which Wood intimates how destructive others can be and how -- as traumatizers -- they can permanently stunt development (to read that, click here). 

Part three about the story's point of view and symbolism can be found here.



For literary analyses of poems and other stories, click on the image below.

Monica Wood - Disappearing

Themes

• body image
• modern man’s fixation on external appearance
• the narrator mentions exterior characteristics related to those around her but never anything about their personality
• epidemic of body shaming which says sth about people’s lack of empathy + respect towards others
• extreme preoccupation with someone’s exterior features rather than the person’s true character
• comment made about who is to blame for people’s obsession with the body (vs. the mind):
• the media?
• advertising?
• family (lack of proper moral upbringing)?
• peer pressure (e.g. blondes at the swimming pool)?
• the fashion industry?
• Wood also ties the issue of how we see our bodies with how we feel about ourselves and how we see our future
• in her search for acceptance, the narrator disregards her health
• ironically, though the narrator is fixated on how she looks, she doesn’t see what she is letting herself become as she wastes away
• this disregard of herself reflects society’s disregard for her (her husband’s, Lettie’s and swimming instructor’s indifference towards the end of the story)
• the narrator wishes to become invisible / to disappear because she wants to negate her own image: since society is so bent on placing value only on one’s outward appearance, the narrator snubs her nose at society by invalidating its veneration of the body
• therefore, the narrator’s decision to embrace anorexia is the sad result of traumatic experience but could also be seen as the only (tragically) brave reaction to society’s norms

• assistance
• this story stresses the absence of empathy + public support mechanisms to raise public awareness and aid those suffering from eating disorders
• criticism falls on random individuals, family units as well as communities
• the question asked is: where can such people turn to for help?
• the narrator has no help from
• her immediate environment (her husband, her son who isn’t even mentioned, her daughter-in-law)
• her friend Lettie, who abandons her completely and calls her “uppity”
• her community: the redhead instructor should have asked more questions to find out who this woman she says she knows from somewhere is; she should have seen her daily pool visits as an obsession
• another question is: how do we realize it’s time to ask for help when we are experiencing difficulties?
• the narrator’s problem was not only the bullying she fell victim to, but also her inability to turn to someone for help
• she repeats that her husband and Lettie “don’t believe” her when she says she’s not doing it just to lose weight, but she doesn’t explain to them what the real reason is:
• she says Lettie “couldn’t imagine” meaning she doesn’t explain anything to her
• she tells her husband about “other men in the water” instead of what she feels inside
• therefore, though Wood is telling us that we as a society or as individuals are to blame, those who are experiencing eating disorders feel such shame (after being put down by everyone) that they would rather remain invisible (even if this means dying) than seek the help of others

• silence
• the notion of silence acts almost like a motif throughout the story
• silence of the narrator who doesn’t tell anyone about her true goal
• silence of those around her who don’t intervene to aid her
• silence of a failed marriage: the husband just lies in bed and “could be dead he’s so far away”
• silence of watching men on TV for so many years and not being noticed by those around you
• silence of lowering yourself and swimming in the pool (without noisily splashing) which becomes a longing the narrator has
• silence of not being able to say “no” to her husband
• silence of the pool people whom the husband calls after he says he’s going to put the narrator in hospital
• silence of the pool the day before a holiday:

“It was echoey silence just me and the soundless empty pool … I lowered myself so slow … but not a ripple not one sound and as I was under in that other quiet, so quiet some tears got out …”

• note that the narrator says “that other quiet”: there is quiet above water because there is no real communication occurring which is likewise reflected under the water’s surface
• the tragedy of the situation: living among people and not being able to communicate meaningfully with them, living in silence for so long that we become used to it and long for it after some time

• acknowledgment / recognition vs. being invisible to others
• people need to belong, be accepted: disorders arise when this isn’t possible
• sooner or later the narrator is pushed aside or altogether ignored by everyone she comes into contact with: her husband, Lettie, redhead instructor, blondes at the pool, men she meets, pool lifeguard, her daughter-in-law, her son who is not even mentioned in the story
• why is the need for recognition so strong?
• being acknowledged affirms one’s identity + sense of existence
• if others treat you as invisible, you don’t feel you exist
• a person’s sense of identity originates from his/her being accepted by others
• acknowledgment creates a bond between 2 people, even a casual, superficial one which means some form of communication is present
• if I acknowledge you, it means you matter to some extent: this makes you feel worthy, esteemed (to a greater or lesser extent depending on who the person is and the quality of their attentions towards you)
• being acknowledged only for your appearance is a means of devaluing a person’s existence
• the narrator in Wood’s story not only has to deal with people who exclusively see her superficially and refuse to recognize her as someone who has a personality and a heart, but also with people who mock her outward appearance
• in other words, the narrator is stripped of her essence and, left with only her body to account for her worth, is humiliated for her obesity (she is devalued in two ways, therefore -- hence her desire to become invisible)